If you’re still reading, thank you for being witness to such a dark and twisty period of my life (we’ll call it my “blue period” in retrospect, perhaps). It’s not over, mind you – I don’t think it’s going to magically happen. I’m integrating losing my son into who I am, and that’s a messy, fearsome, and I suspect, life-long process.
Today is the sixth anniversary of my mother’s death, one of the more (no longer the most) traumatic experiences of my life. It makes me reflect that incredibly, life does continue, even when it leaves you gutted. Each new day still dawns and contains the same old mixture of the good, the bad, and the bemusing. That I can wade through grief and, in grieving, still find room for a really good pun, or some dark humour, or a great video game – for a glass of wine with my wife at the end of the day, for a meal with friends…I’m grateful that this is possible. It didn’t seem that it would be, but amazingly, it is. There’s room for both pleasure and grief in my life, and that’s confounding and wonderful.
So today I’m acknowledging some of the good: