Twelve week update, AKA: In which our midwife gets vetoed and we discover that our fetus is uncooperative

Twelve weeks!  I didn’t really believe that we’d get here, but here we are, NT scan out of the way and all appears to be on track.

Our big development this week was that we saw the high risk OB for our consultation.  The visit got off to a bad start when I inadvertently presented myself for a second NT scan after having had one at the fertility clinic (my referral just said report to ultrasound!), pissing off the stern ultrasound technician to no end.  She was not amused, with either my unnecessary scan or the fact that I corrected her when she referred to Lauren as my “visitor.” At any rate, Puddin has all requisite parts and an acceptable nuchal thickness, so it’s all good.

The doctor was one of the first I’ve encountered outside of the neurology department who seemed to know what I was talking about when we discussed my neurological history, so that was reassuring.  The bad news: she vetoed the midwife.  While my pregnancy itself is not inherently high-risk, there is a chance of complications with high pressure in my head during labour and this will require some planning ahead of time.  So I’ll stay with the high risk clinic and we’ll develop a birth plan that involves having neurology and anesthesiology prepared and available.  While I’m disappointed not to be able to have the midwife experience, especially after birth, I feel relieved to be planning for the unexpected.

Our clinic NT scan earlier in the week went very well, although it took upwards of an hour and a half due to the fact that Puddin refused to present his/her neck for measurements.  We tried everything short of jumping up and down – coughing, walking, full bladder, empty bladder.  Eventually I ate some grapes and Puddin got excited enough to shift.  The tech by this time had called in a ringer, a second tech who proclaimed my baby “happy and healthy, but a bit uncooperative.”  I wish that came as a surprise, but for a child of ours that sounds about right. 

Other notes from the week:

  • I’m still pretty dependent on the Diclectin but I’m starting to feel that there’s a light at the end of the nausea tunnel.
  • A milestone this week: my first pair of jeans that wouldn’t do up.  It felt very surprising.  I have clothes in a size up from having lost weight, and those are still okay.  I guess it’s time to break out the belly band.
  • What do people do about bras at this stage of pregnancy?  I’m having trouble figuring this out.  Do I just keep buying bigger ones until I hit my final size?
  • The fatigue is starting to improve somewhat.  Several times this week I got to go to bed at the same time as my wife!  I miss her.
  • I’m starting to think more about an actual baby as opposed to a theoretical idea.  Suddenly December doesn’t seem that far away and there’s so much to do!  My Jewish superstition and my pathological need to prepare everything in advance are going to come into serious conflict in the next few months, I can see already.  

I’m feeling optimistic this week, and I’m starting to actually feel pregnant.  I may even break out the pregnancy journal!

 

 

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About tamarainwriting

I'm a queer, married, child and youth counsellor, in Toronto, Ontario. My wife and I had a beautiful stillborn son and we have an amazing one-year-old daughter. It's a complex journey.
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4 Responses to Twelve week update, AKA: In which our midwife gets vetoed and we discover that our fetus is uncooperative

  1. Yay, glad for the good things! And amused by your uncooperative fetus. Ours just had an arm covering its face the entire time.

    How much do doulas cost? Maybe a compromise between midwife and total hospital experience?

  2. Ashleigh says:

    I’m sorry that things won’t work out with the midwife, but it is great that you’re planning ahead.

    Yay for starting to feel pregnant!

  3. meridith says:

    I’m sorry that the midwife was vetoed but glad to hear that the question is resolved so early in your pregnancy. Now on to celebrating the end of nausea!

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