Researchers Stunned by Discovery

I break this week’s blog silence to bring you a newly proven scientific discovery, one that will shake the entire field of fertility to its very core… it appears that the level of my crazy is directly proportional to my physical proximity to an unopened pregnancy test. 

I was doing so well!  After having a chemical pregnancy, I’m very wary of testing early.  If it’s not going to stick, I don’t especially want to know about it.  I’ve been much better this cycle about not attributing every twinge to potential pregnancy… mostly, it’s been business as usual.  Then, my critical error (and source of my aforementioned scientific discovery):  I went to Dollarama.  I went for craft supplies for a girls’ group that I’m running at school, but I spied the pregnancy tests.  Why not?  At a dollar each, who cared?  I’d have one on hand to use before I go for the blood draw in a few days.  I like to be disappointed at home anyway, so I’m prepared for the call at work.


Who knew… as soon as that box was in the house, crazy thinks-she’s-pregnant Tamara came out in full force.  What an unwelcome guest.  I had the hardest time sleeping last night… do those cramps MEAN SOMETHING?  Maybe I should get up and test.  How about in the morning?  A few days early?  Sheesh.

Well, lesson learned.  The test has been relegated to the back of a drawer (not in easy proximity to the source of urine!) and I wait.  I always think that I’m not going to feel this way this time, and I always always do.  It’s hard to believe that one of these times I’m just going to be right.  And I won’t have a test on hand, because I’m not buying one next time.  Right?

I’m sure that this breakthrough in our understanding of human behaviour will benefit us all.


About tamarainwriting

I'm a queer, married, child and youth counsellor, in Toronto, Ontario. My wife and I had a beautiful stillborn son and we have an amazing one-year-old daughter. It's a complex journey.
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4 Responses to Researchers Stunned by Discovery

  1. Oh, the slippery slope of pregnancy tests. I swore I wasn’t going to test every time and then watched my resolve collapse. I squinted at several tests, certain that a second line would mysteriously appear if I held it at just the right angle. And then, the cycle that worked, I didn’t take a single pregnancy test. In fact, I was fairly sure I wasn’t pregnant. We found out that I was from the beta. Which means that I have actually never taken a positive at-home test.

    But I know the crazy that those tests can induce. Try to keep it at the back of that drawer?

  2. So far, so good! It’s nestled in with my socks. Obsessive testing never seems to give me anything but a headache from squinting so hard at the space where a pink line should be. Thanks for the encouragement! I really enjoy your blog.

  3. Ashleigh says:

    I think I hit that level of crazy too. During the cycle that I was actually preggo, I also refused to test until the very end.
    Anyways, I’m thinking about you and hoping for a sticky little bean 🙂

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